Come To Me In My Time Of Need

I woke up early that morning, the sun shone through the window hitting the crystal chandelier and the fragments of lights danced across the room I reached out and felt the emptiness beside me feeling nothing but the canvas of sheets, I sat up and stretched out my arms and let out a yawn. It was a regular start to the day I took a shower got dressed made breakfast and took my five minute morning phone call with Jason before he was due to his summer internship. Then sat on the couch and watched something on tv. Settling into a routine was never my intention but it was kind of nice, however around 12 I was watching golden girls and well what can I say who doesn't love golden girls? But I heard a car drive up in the driveway a nice little red corvette and out stepped Cheryl Valence in her pleated skirt and Prada shoes that cost more than the average mans salary. Before she could knock I flung the door open, can I help you I asked, what are you doing here she asked, well I live here with Jason I said. Well last I checked you two broke up she sniped were back together I chirped. Why would he want you she Laughed. You obviously couldn't pleasure him enough if he had to come to me she said, excuse me? I asked yeah 8 when you were together and 7 times when you were apart. Yeah right I snarled, ask him she said well why else would I be pregnant with his child? Get out of here you dumb bitch! I yelled. Fine but just know you couldn't keep him happy you were never good enough for him but I was and all you were was his charity case. And then I smacked her so hard against her face she hit the ground, I'm pregnant you idiot! she yelled stumbling to get up you will be hearing from my lawyer! And then she ran to her car and left. Quickly I pulled out my phone and called Jason, yeah he said, Did you sleep with Cherry? I asked feeling the hot tears begin to surface, Fizzle I'm so sorry it meant noth.... Yeah 15 times and when we were still together! It...it wasn't that many times he stuttered. Then how many times? Jason I yelled enough for you to get her pregnant. Oh god Fizzle I'm so sorry but I never slept with her when we together it was a mistake, You no what just stop! I cried as the tears began to run down my cheek wait Fizz I love..... And then I hung up throwing my phone across the room I sat on the couch and cradled my head in my hands and sobbed thinking of how dumb I was to take him back, then I began to think about my conversation with Steve the other day. I grabbed a bottle of whiskey and got in my car drove over to Steve's, he was out working in the back on a car, I walked up to him quickly, hey Fizz... Before he could finish I pushed my lips on his and kissed him with all the passion I had, he responded by kissing me back and dropping his wrench so he could wrap his arms around me then I began to fumble with the buttons on his shirt for a second he hesitated, go with it I said then I wrapped my legs around him and he pinned me against the car where he continued to kiss me, I pulled his shirt off and traced his abs with my fingers and started with his pants then he propped me up on the hood of the car where he pulled off my clothes , then he began kissing my neck and all down my back , shit I don't have a condom he said I'm on the pill I smirked well in that case he smirked he scooped me up and laid me down on the hood of the car and for the first time in a long time I laughed. Are you sure? he asked, Steve there's no place else I'd rather be. There's no taking it back he said, I know I said as I pulled my engagement ring off and tossed it over my shoulder, one hundred percent Then I melted into his arms, After we finished he held me close and stroked my hair and kissed me on my forehead what happened he asked, Cherry Valence I muttered. Oh I'm sorry Fizz, he said. Don't be I mumbled looking up at him just make me forget about it I whispered in his ear, I can do that he whispered back. Let the games begin he whispered, and "may the odds forever be in your favor" I whispered back.

I Cant't Help Still Loving You

        For the last month Blair has taken me in, I've been a wreck crying, screaming, sulking... you know the grief process. It's been nice I guess I mean I love Blair and her kids but, I'm not good with kids I made Carter cry 6 times.... Me and children don't work  never have needless to say. It was a nice May day, the birds were chirping the breeze was cool and the flowers were growing and pain was easing away. I was planting some flowers, you know being helpful when I heard it. The sound of the familiar engine the way it hummed and its clarity, the sound you only get from a Ferrari, quickly I got on my feet and smoothed out my shorts for whatever reason. Then he got out of the car his black hair combed back his blue jeans on and if it wasn't for the white polo he could easily be mistaken  for a greaser. In his hand he had a bouquet of sweet briar roses my favorite, I glared at him as he walked towards me trying not to show emotion. Just hear me out he said defensively , holding out the roses, Hear you out, I sarcastically asked  grabbing the roses, you don't even call me for a month! I yell hitting him with the bouquet, I know I'm sorry he said. Your sorry that's all you have to say! at this point ';m screaming and wacking him as hard as I can with a bouquet of flowers, you think you can drive on up with your god damn Ferrari and some damn flowers and fix it all! still hitting him No he stammered I,I, I. You what thought I would fall into your arms and forgive you! No he said, then what! I don't know he stammered. By now I'm realizing that the thorns from the roses have cut open his arm, Then I realize Blair and the kids are watching from the window, come here I yelled motioning toward my car. I dig through my trunk till I find the first aid kit, I pull out the sterile wipes and proceed to clean up his wounds I inflicted upon him. Ow he mumered that stings, get over it I snipe. I guess I deserved that beating, this time I looked up at him and smiled, you did, then he laughed and I felt myself regain those feelings I was working so hard to loose. Are  your suppose to be off for your summer internship thing for the summer? I asked, yeah at  8 my flight leaves that's why I wanted to talk to you not get beat by a bouquet of roses. We already established you deserved that I said, I did he shrugged so anyways.... Iumm , you what? I asked, I wanted to try this again I mean you live in the condo I'll go to school we'll see each other on break, but if you meet someone else while I'm away then so be it you know I just want to know we still have a chance. What if you meet someone else I asked, Fizzle there is no one else I mean where else am I going to get beat by a bouquet of roses? Well so were talking a no strings attached relationship I ask. Fizzle how else are we going to do this, I don't know I snap all I do know is I love you and I don't want to loose you and I don't know why you didn't come after me when I left because if you did I would have melted back into your arms just like I'm about to do now! I didn't come after you because I thought you were better off without me he whispered. And why would you think a dumb thing like that I said easing myself then stroking his hair, I don't know he said looking into my eyes and then he had me again just like he did on the first day we met. then our lips moved closer together, each of us afraid to breath and he kissed me softly and sweetly. When I pulled away I smiled at him do I still get to wear the ring I laughed, I was hoping you would say that he chuckled then he reached into his pocket and pulled out the perfect yellow diamond ring out, I always loved it the yellow cushion cut diamond in a double halo of diamonds. Then he slid it onto my finger and smiled. No promises right I asked, no promises he said. Then he recited to me a lyric of our song "A wise man said that only fools rush in" "But I cant help falling in love with you" I recited back. When 8 came I watched him board his plane. And I watched it take off, I got my things from Blair's and went to the condo it was quiet. I turned on the TV and curled in up in the bed. Then I just stared at the diamond for a while until I drifted asleep.

Impulsive Reckless Stupid All For The Better

Impulsive and reckless , are the two words I would use to describe myself. I was laying in bed and Jason was already asleep. I looked over and watched his gentle breathing and how peaceful he looked. Then my thoughts went somewhere else, he's going to Harvard in the fall and I have one year of high school still, we're getting married in June. Four years of back and forth, then I looked back at him still sleeping silently. I got scared, 4 years of him coming going. How am I just realizing this? Then I realized how fast I rushed in. How dumb this all was. I love him but to spend the rest of my life with him? I had to leave for the both of us. I quietly got out of bed and grabbed my suitcase and filled it with all I have. Emptying every drawer and cabinet in sight, not even taking time to think. I took my ring off and set it on his bedside table. Then I left our room without looking back, truth is he's what kept me together lately, finding out I'm adopted but I don't care about that anymore my parents are my parents. But i took that for more than it was and rushed in head first only to hit rock bottom. As I reach out for the door his voice comes from behind me. Why he whispers, I shut my eyes and brace myself for the words that come next, our lives are going in opposite directions your going to college I have high school it was a whirl wind romance that was nice while it lasted but it's over. I love you fizzle, I held back the tears and said the only words that could end it, I don't. He fell silent I knew I hurt him and that's what I wanted,then he said the only words that could hurt me, my mother was right about you. It cut deep but thats what he wanted and how could I marry him of its only going to be a power struggle. Goodbye Jason I whispered, as I flung the door open and rushed out into the pouring rain. I got into my car and gave one last look at the condo, and then started up the car. I left the driveway and started down the open road, no idea where I was going. Somehow I ended up in Darry's driveway . I sat there for awhile, just staring blankly at the driveway . I was snapped back to reality by a knock on my window I looked up to see Darry with a concerned look on his face. Then I realized that maybe he's not my father or my brother but he still cares. I got out of my car and let him comfort me in the pouring rain. Then he got my bags and we went into the house. Even if he isn't my father he's the closet thing I have. So is it over Darry asked yeah I whispered as I held up my ring finger. It'll be okay he said plenty of other people. I looked up and could tell that he felt awkward in this conversation because we all love Darry to death he's the mother hen of the group but not the best for relationship advice. Thanks I said, then he got up and turned off the lights and went to his room. I fell asleep on the couch and woke up at 12. I let out a deep sigh because I knew it was over, part of me had wanted him to come after me.

Unexpected Changes In Every Way

Changes aren't always welcomed my family has had to deal with so much lost first my father then my mother and then Candice the sweetest person ever. I got the call from my aunt around 5pm. The coldness in her voice reminded me of my own nearly a year ago. How she sounded hollow inside and dead, god damn it I said holding back the tears. And then I just hung up and chunked my phone at the wall. Just then Darry walked in the door back from his trip, someone's upset he muttered but before I could get a word out his eyes went to my hand and saw the yellow diamond placed on my ring finger. What the hell is that he yelled, I jumped up from the kitchen table and began to yell, why should you give a damn! your not my brother and your sure as hell not my father! He just stared at me as if I had put a knife through his chest, then go he said. I will I said coldly, so I went to my room and began to pack my things, Ponyboy strolled into my room and plopped on to my bed. I think you hurt his feelings Pony whispered, I don't care I muttered, what happened Fizz he asked? Candice died I muttered. Then he got up and left, I threw the last of my things in my suitcase and walked out the door. I drove fast as I could to Jason's. When I pulled into Jason's driveway I wasted no time getting out of the car, and barging into his house without knocking. I charged past his mother and up the stairs, then I barged into his bedroom where he was looking out the blinds and then into his arms. I just started to cry about my parents, my adoption, Candice, and Darry Jason just held me for what felt like hours. After I calmed down his mother came up stairs, I'm going to have to ask you to leave she said, and why is that Jason asked, honey because she's no good and is going to do nothing but get you in trouble. Jason narrowed his eyes and I saw a side of him I had never seem before. Well guess what I'm 18 she's 18 were engaged and I just got us a condo on the other side of town and your going to have to deal with it. She just stood there with her mouth half open as Jason threw some things in a suitcase. Come on Fizz lets go he said smiling. We walked right past his mother who was still in shock that Jason had set her straight. Ok he said follow me in your car to the condo. I love you I said softly kissing him on the lips. I love you to he said kissing me back. His mother was glaring out the window at us and I just waved and smiled. And then began to honk my horn all the way down the driveway. As we arrived at the condo my breath was taken away. He had listened to every detail I had ever said all hard wood floors except in the bathroom which I wanted tiled white and pastel pink with a black sink and toilet our room was painted navy blue with white around the edges. Our room had a canopy bed with a white tarp and a red white blue floral comforter with matching pillow cases and sheets it had a red love seat and a walk in closet the guest bedroom had teal wallpaper with black and white accents the living room had navy blue couches and chairs with red and white accent pillows. I was speechless at first I just walked around memorized with the detail. You remembered every single little detail I said astonished. I did he said embracing me I want this love this marriage to be your fairy tale he said. You deserve to have a happy ever after he said. Then I noticed to corgi in the basket, my dream dog to I whispered. Yep he said right down to the dog. We spent our first night there and woke up only to get on a plane that morning. The funeral wasn't so bad. But I didn't go to the cemetery I just couldn't. Jason was with me the whole time, after the funeral I hugged my aunt and uncle and introduced them to Jason, after that I took Jason to my old house. Dimitri's maid was looking after it until I made up my mind on what to do with it. It was a nice 2 story Victorian house. I went inside my old room and got a couple of things then I went into my parents room nothing had been moved in there since my father died my mother left it just so. I went in the room and sat in the middle of the floor. Jason came in and plopped down beside me, so he whispered are we gonna touch anything? Yeah I said I think I can, I began by opening the night stand door and getting my fathers keepsake box. I put that in a box and then my mothers jewelry box, I put some framed pictures of us as a family and my mothers sock monkey that was always sitting on her dresser. I looked at him and noticed a odd string hanging out his back. I pulled it out and it was a safety deposit box key for a bank in tulsa. I shoved in my pocket and left. We returned home to Tulsa, and Jason proposed to me with the key to the condo will you live with me he asked yes I laughed we entered the condo where we had 5 missed calls and 1 message "Fizz I'm a father!" And I just smiled because at least for once there was some good changes taking place

Great just great

By! We yelled while waving to Darry’s car that slowly pulling out of the driveway and down the long road. When his car was clear out of sight off to some kind of business trip me and Pony smiled at each other while plans begin to form in our head just thinking about what we were about to do.  Ok I said lets get started, Lets Pony Smirked. Ok what do you need to have to throw an engagement party I asked, lots of drinking Pony yelled, I rolled my eyes but added it to the list. Ok I said you are in charge of the liquor I am in charge of everything else. Pony just sat back on the couch and turned the TV on I rolled my eyes and began to think of what all we needed. Then Jason pulled up and I hoped into his car off to buy the things needed quickly I pulled out the ring from my pocket because I could wear now that Darry was out of town I slid it on and just smiled at it. Hmmm maybe we should just elope and then have a formal ceremony I sighed he looked over at me and smiled if that’s what you want he shrugged then mother couldn’t stick her little finger in it. I laughed oh my you marrying a jew Jason the worlds going to end he just laughed and I thought I couldn’t be more in love than I am now. We got everything needed including a new dress from H&M for me and one for Brook. When we returned Pony was passed out on the couch just where I left him. Pony I yelled go get the drinks, ok he muttered and rolled off the couch and out the door. Me and Brook put up decorations and Jason helped to by watching the football game and of course Pony joined him when he got in with the liquor. Good I said quickly I uncapped the Jack Daniels and took a long gulp Jason just looked at me Stressed he asked yeah I muttered I went into the kitchen and lit a cigarette I grabbed a red bull and put some orange liquor in it and chugged it down. Everyone began to arrive at six, you would think they would be suspicious of the decorations but they were half drunk when the got there so it didn’t make a difference to them. Jason came in the kitchen after 5 minutes into the party. He quickly took the drink out of my hand and took me outside. What’s wrong Fizz are you scared do you want to back out because I understand if you think we rushed. No I whispered it’s just…. What Jason said you can tell me, my mom won’t be there to try on wedding dresses with me, My dad can’t give his consent on us marrying and my dad won’t walk me down the aisle. Jason took my hand not knowing what to say, you know he said I wish you had Kit to talk to he muttered yeah so do I, I muttered. I only have a locket and a suitcase of old documents that I can’t break the lock to I said that’s all. Well maybe I can unlock the suitcase Jason said. We went down the hall and into my room I flung the door to my closet open and pulled it out it looked like an old lock the suitcase was my grandmothers it was covered in tweed that was starting to peel off.  Jason was trying to jam a screwdriver under the lock but wasn’t having any luck. Then I saw a small bulge in the tweed quickly I pulled it back and the key was taped on the bare suitcase. I pulled it off and handed it to Jason then my phone began to ring I pulled it out and the ID read Sandy<3 .Hello I said Blair Sandy Whispered no it’s Fizz I said Can can you come get me hurry. Sandy I don’t think NOW HURRY! She sobbed we can’t get caught. Ok I said I’ll be there soon I said. Hurry she whispered, I hung up the phone I looked at my car, It barley did 50 anymore. Jason I yelled give me the keys to the Ferrari without question he pulled them out of his pocket and tossed  them at me, Fizz he said yeah I asked almost out the back door you’re not running away are you? No I said I’m not leaving. Then quickly I jumped in the fire engine red Ferrari and did 90 until I got there. I approached the door but before I could open it I heard a hushed voice call my name, Fizz over here I saw her in a black sweat shirt with her makeup running. Sandy I don’t think I can do this I said. You have to Sandy muttered, you need help I said, no I don’t she said. If you make me go back I’ll kill myself. I just stood there frozen, Sandy I said you can’t do that to your kids. I could to and it would be all your fault and I would leave that in my letter. I was trying to sort things out in my head but before I knew it I was driving down the road with Sandy in the passenger seat. When I dropped her off at the park by her commands I went home entering through the back door the party was over and Jason was sitting at the table with a paper clutched in his hand without a word he handed it to me. I unfolded it and read the headline OFFICAL LETTER OF ADOPTION TO Mr. and Mrs. Montgomery. I stopped breathing it had my real name under it what it was before I legally changed it Elizabeth Montgomery.

Let it Be Love It's the Only Thing it Could be

  Jason I yelled what the fuck! I thought it was a good idea he sighed.
   Oh yeah I yelled louder getting married at 18 is such a good mother fucking idea hey I have an idea lets get knocked up and go on teen mom!
   Calm down Fizz he muttered. What the fuck made you think I would say yes I screamed. Fizzle where do you imagine yourself in five years?
    I glared married to the stubbiest son of a botch in Oklahoma. So in other words me Jacen sighed. Yeah I yelled your the stupid Son of a bitch I'll fucking marry.
    Jacen laughed does that mean yes? Yeah I said that means I love you and if you have put up with me this long then I guess your a keeper.
   This time I whispered and trembled as Jacen slid that yellow diamond on my hand. I love you I said so much, Fizzle Jane Montgomery I love you with all my heart I knew it was you from the first kiss the first date the first time you walked in the room or gave cherry valance a hair cut. I was suppose to be married to you. I jumped into his arms it was so cold and the snow began to fall. It seemed suiting for the situation we sat on the park bench and just looked up at the stars. We should get back to the party Jacen said yeah I muttered I as we walked up the steps to Sodas when we got in I pulled Soda aside and pulled of my glove to reveal the yellow diamond underneath Soda grabed my hand and just stated Fizz he stammered you've only known each other.... Soda when you met Katie you knew right? Soda sighed yeah but. But nothing I said we know we're right for each other and nothing is going to change that. I put my glove back on. Your the only one I'm going to tell for now ok? Yeah Soda said when are you going to tell the rest? Before the years over I said and as for Darry when I'm walking down the isle. Soda laughed, hey have you seen Pony? Soda asked no I said he's most likely doing something stupid but I was wrong he was doing probably the smartest thing he has ever done. Me and Jacen know we love each other and we know we belong with each other. You might call it rushing in but I call it true love inside my ring is a part of our son song
Wise man said that only fools rush in but I cant help falling in love with you.
I have in mind who my bridal party will be
Kit
Sandy
Brookie
Angelica
Blair
So I have yo pick a maid of honor but I cant choose right now

I Would Have Never Thought It Could Happen So Fast.(excuse my Yiddish)

      Me and Jason decided to go on a date in the park. We were walking and decided to sit down on the benches. So he asked do you wanna go to that dance coming up? I bit my lip I really hate dances, I'm not one to frolic around in a dress. But I really like Jason he is so sweet and nice, even thou Darry does not like the idea but were falling for each other so fast I can barley catch my breath. I sucked it up, yes I would love to go I said. Great I'll buy our tickets Monday then he pulled me close and kissed me softly on the forehead. We walked around and threw coins in the fountain and made a wish, then we walked around town and looked in the windows for a while, fed the local squirrel and visited a pet shop. So he asked I think my mother wants to meet you, what I asked already we haven't even been dating for a month I said. I know but she's very involved in my life and wants to make sure I'm not with a girl who's a bad influence. I sat on a bench and sighed, because I'm a greaser I said. Yeah he answered as he sat next to me and pulled me close but she's just afraid of something she can't understand. I put my head on his shoulder and he kissed my forehead, when? I asked, tonight he muttered. I sighed and looked at my watch well I better be getting home to get ready I said. Why it's not for four hours he said, well I have to do my hair, pick out my dress, my shoes, take a shower, paint my nails, do my make up Oy vey! I yelled I gotta get home! Calm down he said you'll look fine no matter what, I looked in his eyes and kissed him, he was so sweet and he knew what to say in every situation. He drove me home and we kissed each other good bye for the time being, Darry watching from the kitchen window the whole time.
         
          I ran in and straight in to my room going through my closet looking for a dress. But I had to come to reality I didn't have one. I quickly went to my phone and called Kit, KIT!, what she asked, I need a dress pronto I yelled again. She came over as fast as she could with a pretty cream dress, your a life saver I yelled jumping up and down. I know she said. Need help with you hair she asked referring to the stuck curling iron in my hair. I think so I muttered sitting down in front of the mirror, while she worked wonders on my hair I told her all about Jason and she just nodded her head as I talked. Fizz are you sure about this she asked, yeah I am I said I really really like him I said but that wasn't enough to describe how I felt for him. How does his mother feel about this she asked, she doesn't like it I muttered. When she got done with my hair she did my nails and make-up. I thought I looked soc approved, then I went and picked up a edible arrangement.

       Jason picked me up and he told me how beautiful I looked. Then we pulled up to his beautiful house, and he opened the car door for me. I looked at the house, I was just taken away by it's Victorian beauty, when we got to the door a nice little cross was mounted on the door. Oy vey I muttered it will be fine he said, not knowing where I was coming from. His mother flung the door open, hello she sniped you must be Fizzle, yeah its nice to meet you Mrs. Vanderbilt I said extending my hand only to be ignored. Well are you going to come in she sniped, yeah Jason said come on. Jason grabbed my hand and leaded me into the foyer, this is for you I said handing her the editable arrangement she looked it over as if it wasn't meeting her standards I'm allergic to pineapple she said, oh I'm sorry I stuttered. Then she stomped off to the kitchen, then I started to look around, there were crosses and bibles and pictures of Jesus everywhere. My jaw dropped oy vey I muttered, what? Jason asked I'm sorry she didn't like your hostess gift. I should have chosen the box of twinkies I muttered, Jason laughed, then he left the room to attend to his mother. I looked down at the little ceramic manger scene, and picked up baby Jesus, look I said we might not see eye to eye but can you just give me this please I pleaded. Then his dad walked into the foyer, we leave that out all year his father said, does your family have one he asked. No I said we have a menorah, oh he said. An awkward silence just fell over the room, I realized I was still holding baby Jesus and quickly put him back in his cradle.

        Jason came up from behind me and wrapped his arms around my waist dinners ready he said. Yay I muttered, we sat down and I starred at the pork. I sighed, what's wrong his mother asked are you a tree hugging vegetarian? No I said I'm jewish and I can't eat pig. Jason dropped his fork, his father nearly choked, and me and his mother were in a death stare. Jason what did I say about dating girls that were in a cult. Excuse me I yelled you little schmuck(male anatomy), you've got some chutzpah(nerve). Your full of bupkes( horse droppings), your just a mishegas (crazy) bitch. Get out if my house she yelled.

       Feh!(disgust), I will proudly do so I yelled, I stomped put the door thinking I was done with this, as I was stomping down the drive way, when someone grabbed my wrist and turned me around and kissed me passionately. He pulled away I love you he said,I looked in his eyes, he didn't just say it to say it he meant it. I love you to I said and I was scared because I meant it to. Then he drove me home you are so beautiful he said as we pulled into the driveway. I smiled was I beautiful when I was yelling Yiddish to your mother? Your the only girl I know that would ever do that he said. I kissed him then he pulled something out of his pocket it was a compass necklace, on the back it said you give me direction. I love it I said, I'm glad he responded then we kissed again and, Soda knocked on the window. He got out and opened my car door, then he walked me to the front door with Soda trailing close behind, when we approached the door we tried to kiss each other goodnight but Soda began to cough loudly. I love you I said I love you to Jason said then he walked back to his car and left. What did you say? Soda asked, you heard I laughed then went inside. I went to my room and I shut the door and leaned against it and just smiled. I felt like I had butterfly's in my stomach, I stared at my necklace and I began to miss him, I want to be with him at every waking moment and it almost hurts to be apart. And I cant help but wonder, is this what love feels like?