Impulsive Reckless Stupid All For The Better

Impulsive and reckless , are the two words I would use to describe myself. I was laying in bed and Jason was already asleep. I looked over and watched his gentle breathing and how peaceful he looked. Then my thoughts went somewhere else, he's going to Harvard in the fall and I have one year of high school still, we're getting married in June. Four years of back and forth, then I looked back at him still sleeping silently. I got scared, 4 years of him coming going. How am I just realizing this? Then I realized how fast I rushed in. How dumb this all was. I love him but to spend the rest of my life with him? I had to leave for the both of us. I quietly got out of bed and grabbed my suitcase and filled it with all I have. Emptying every drawer and cabinet in sight, not even taking time to think. I took my ring off and set it on his bedside table. Then I left our room without looking back, truth is he's what kept me together lately, finding out I'm adopted but I don't care about that anymore my parents are my parents. But i took that for more than it was and rushed in head first only to hit rock bottom. As I reach out for the door his voice comes from behind me. Why he whispers, I shut my eyes and brace myself for the words that come next, our lives are going in opposite directions your going to college I have high school it was a whirl wind romance that was nice while it lasted but it's over. I love you fizzle, I held back the tears and said the only words that could end it, I don't. He fell silent I knew I hurt him and that's what I wanted,then he said the only words that could hurt me, my mother was right about you. It cut deep but thats what he wanted and how could I marry him of its only going to be a power struggle. Goodbye Jason I whispered, as I flung the door open and rushed out into the pouring rain. I got into my car and gave one last look at the condo, and then started up the car. I left the driveway and started down the open road, no idea where I was going. Somehow I ended up in Darry's driveway . I sat there for awhile, just staring blankly at the driveway . I was snapped back to reality by a knock on my window I looked up to see Darry with a concerned look on his face. Then I realized that maybe he's not my father or my brother but he still cares. I got out of my car and let him comfort me in the pouring rain. Then he got my bags and we went into the house. Even if he isn't my father he's the closet thing I have. So is it over Darry asked yeah I whispered as I held up my ring finger. It'll be okay he said plenty of other people. I looked up and could tell that he felt awkward in this conversation because we all love Darry to death he's the mother hen of the group but not the best for relationship advice. Thanks I said, then he got up and turned off the lights and went to his room. I fell asleep on the couch and woke up at 12. I let out a deep sigh because I knew it was over, part of me had wanted him to come after me.